We're coming back like buckles on shoes.


Pirates of the Burning Sea
preview | Behold, an actual article about an actual game from PAX 2005. Made with 100% games journalism substitute. All the fanboyism, with half the calories!


Comic-Con '05: Out From Boneville



Comic-Con '05: The Behemoth's Next Game
Spore
by Iain Simons

An unchronological account of Will Wright's wondrous demonstration of Spore.
Age of Conan: Hyborian Adventures
by Stevan Zivadinovic

Please click the link. We promise there is no Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Destroy All Humans
by David Eggers

Idle Thumbs probes this game to unlock the mysteries of space. Probes!
Shadow The Hedgehog
by Nick Walker

Bling Bling rings in da mother fucking hood. Fetch me a fuckin nine dawg.
Infected
by James Spafford

The first virus you won't mind your wife spreading to the milkman.
City of Villains
by Nick Walker

Finally, the chance to play a villain and beat seven shades of shit out of those wussy little heroes.
Condemned: Criminal Origins
by Ben Andac

No, it's not Manhunt. It's far prettier than that.
Black
by James Spafford

We accidentally ended up seeing this game 'behind closed doors' when we confused an EA Agent at the show who claimed to know our site.
Kingdom Hearts II
by Doug Tabacco

To say Doug loves Disney is perhaps an understatement akin to saying space is big. Welcome to the cheeriest article ever to appear on Idle Thumbs.
Dreamfall
by Marek Bronstring

It's either an action-adventure without the action, or an adventure game without the stupid puzzles. Whatever turns you on.
Burnout: Revenge
by Ben Andac

Is revenge a dish best served cold? Well, Khan said it, so it must be true.
Shadow of the Colossus
by Stevan Zivadinovic

Climb all over Stevan's first look at this intriguing title from the makers of Ico, then stab him repeatedly in the back of the neck to bring him down.
Jaws Unleashed
by Ben Andac

Jaws takes a bite out of E3. I kill myself for using that blurb.
Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth
by Alex Ashby

Cthulhu is calling you. He's calling you an ass.
Rise of Nations: Rise of Legends
by Marek Bronstring

Marek gets a rise out of Rise of Legends.
Yume
by Marek Bronstring

Marek went to Kentia Hall and lived to tell the tale. He has little to tell about Yume however, for reasons explained inside.
Auto Assault
by Chris Remo

Ever since KITT from Knight Rider tried to get Chris to touch its fender at the age of 11, he's known all there is to know about auto assault.
Batman Boners Begins
by James Spafford

Oh Batman! With these boners you are really spoiling us.
Odama
by Marek Bronstring

Geez. What can we say? It's another pinball/strategy hybrid. Apparently that's all hot and trendy these days.
We Love Katamari
by Chris Remo

Do we love Katamari? I think it can be safely said that we do.
Trauma Center: Under the Knife
by Chris Remo

Sometimes you've just got no choice but to use your DS to slice open an alien and fiddle around with his alien guts, to make him happy.
Okami
by Alex Ashby

Make the world fear your paintbrush while prancing around in posies. Yes sir, this is no ordinary God game.
The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
by Alex Ashby

Armour and swords, cling clank, whoosh woo! Oh holy crap I am suddenly an octogenarian. But it was worth it... OR WAS IT?!
Killer 7
by James Spafford

Scary horror survival type zombie killing game from Capcom disturbs and confuses Idle Thumbs.
Virtua Tennis World Tour
by Nick Walker

Nothing beats playing V-Tennis until 4am with a room full of inebriated maniacs after a heavy night.
Prey
by David Eggers

Prey arrives through a time portal from 1998 and somehow on the Doom 3 engine now.
Electroplankton
by Marek Bronstring

This article has no blurb because we're too busy playing Electroplankton.
The Movies
by Alex Ashby

Alex had to grease up a lot of old executives to get this article. He thinks it will be his big break, but in fact he will be limited to a cameo banner advert before sinking into obscurity.
New Super Mario Bros.
by Jake Rodkin

I love Mario. I love that little stumpy Italian man so goddamn much. Oh man.
Metronome
by Alex Ashby

Tick tock tick tock. Despite the name, this is anything but predictable. A look at what could become Thumbs' Hot Game of 2005 ... if it gets a publisher.
Quake IV
by Nick Walker

Quake: a series of games that defined mutiplayer PC gaming. Now: a single player Doom 3 mod. Oh, but now the flashlight is taped to the gun...
Star Wars: Empire at War
by James Spafford

WAR has broken out in the Galaxy far far away... again. This time though you can create your very own continuity errors.
Scarface: The World is Yours
by Iain Simons

Vivendi's new Scarface game claims Tony survives at the end of the movie. Even though he didn't.
Call of Duty 2
by Marek Bronstring

Marek investigates World War II 2. There are guns in it and also tanks... maybe planes. Oh there are planes? Nice.
Taxi Driver
by Stevan Zivadinovic

Are you looking at me? No really because I'm quite paranoid about my appearence. Also does my bum look big in this Taxi?
King Kong
by Marek Bronstring

Ancel reveals his latest so-called "non-BGE game" to an eager audience. It involves a lot of throwing spears at dinosaurs.
The Godfather
by Ben Andac

Does this game make you an offer you can't refuse? Ben suspects you will be able to refuse its offer, but deep down, he wants to be wrong.
Evil Genius
by Stevan Zivadinovic

Stevan Zivadinovic, our venerated colleague and brother in thumbs, previews Evil Genius in a really, really vile manner, laughing from the diaphragm all the while.


© 2004-2008 Idle Thumbs / Brontosaurus Media. You bum.




It is not as bad as it seems, because the voltage is quite low.

-Alexey Pajitnov, explaining his dolphin paintball/electroshock concept.


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Thumbcast 08
Wiiiiiiii this is the wii podcast! Plus: Gears of War is for noobs, and Viva Pinata is nothing like Animal Crossing.
Thumbcast 07
A brief look at PS3 and Wii launch hype, discussion of gaming shows VideoGaiden and 1UP Show, the mario rap, and more.
Thumbcast 06
We discuss Tetsuya Mizuguchi's perpetual state of jetlag, the closing of Lik-Sang, the closing of Clover Studio, and possibly other bonus closings.

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Grand Theft Auto IV
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TF2 Guest Pass
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