MrHoatzin

Dear god man, don't make me install a login-based poll system...

You mean like: Beautiful weather we're having to-day... too bad the global warming will destroy the world as we know it in the next 50 years, so much so that the western free-market democracies will completely crumble and be replaced by one massive communist technocracy... Well, have a nice day!

I had this awesome idea for The Ultimate Horror Game of Unadulterated Horror, I just don't know how profitable it can be or how exciting to everybody else ---- but fuck it, who cares! It's ma game! So, without further ado, the Ultimate Horror Game: I am more afraid of retarded hillbillies than the stock zombies we get all too often -- when I say retarded hillbillies, I mean the kind of people who think 'bandana' is that thing you use to wipe your nose, to hold your hair, or to stuff in the place of the missing gas gasket -- often in a swift succession. So, the game will feature a lot of hillbillies out to rape me, or kill me as a kind of sport, or something like that. The only thing I have to defend myself is a bow and three recyclable arrows. Nothing else. There is a piece of rope in one of the levels. Only, like, eight bad guys grand total, but they have to fight well. The whole game is happening in a forest! And there are no ancient ruins near by! I am more afraid of telephones than being shot at point-blank, so I will be forced to make a lot of telephone calls in the game, where on the other side of the wire I will be humiliated in a very low-key, humiliating fashion by people who are supposed to help me but never do. So, the whole game is pretty much me running around from hillbillies in a forest, from one payphone to the next, all the while my anticipation is being built up: the next phone call will have to be the one that will take me out of this place to the win condition, it will just have to be... Oh, and I am more afraid of bureaucracy than Lord God Jehovah Himself so the main story has to be thoroughly Kafkaesque: a man versus The Man's machine that just don't work. It's all mostly in black and white, and feels like Fritz Lang's movies. Now I just need to sit idly by while somebody fits all this into a semi-half cohesive and fun game. I am sitting here, now - 50 bucks in hand - waiting for this game to materialise... Tam ta ratata pam pa REE ra ram...

Fuck Mein Kampf, I think it about time The Koran and Das Kapital reach the bestseller list... On a related note, Oprah is beginning to endorse books such as Anna Karenina and 100 Years of Solitude -- and even though the former is prosaic and the latter incoherent -- I find it hard to be contemptuous about her endeavour.

Now, Andrej, you had it up for merely a second before you chickened out and deleted the post -- and I totally, utterly agree. We will definitely consider your suggestion of changing the name of the site to The Home of the Manly Idle Hetero Thumbs.

Fuck you.

Even though the official word from the moral majority has it that there are no such things as genitals - those who say otherwise are executed summarily, secretly - I am very closely associated with the US underground currents that are very much aware of their genitals and how to employ them.

That is why it is so amazing. Do you think that Stanley messed something up and came up with a boring movie? No, he set out to make a boring movie. Instead of screaming I WANT INSTANT GRATIFICATION, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!, how about taking the slow action as an integral part of the experience?

Sharans? Funny, 'cause sharan means carp in Serbian - as in the edible freshwater fish.

What do people have against mermaids? I am personally quite partial to them nymphs... I would hack their heads off if and only if I really, really had to, or wanted to. Or if they asked me to.

You're queer, what do you know?

Inspector Gadget!

What are you talking about? Everybody knows that Cremo is carrying God's son... I guess we'll have to leave the touchy issue of the real Jesus Redux to Jerry Springer and his studio audience to decide. [Cue Trep with his dialogue scenario]

Let me take a wild stab at this: Michael Jackson is an insane freak from a galaxy far, far away who allegedly likes to sleep with young boys. Another lunatic that likes to sleep with young boys is one estranged heir to the throne of Zembla, Charles Xavier Kinbote who is a figment of imagination of Vladimir Nabokov, literary genius and famed lepidopterologist. Did I figure out the true connection?

You just need someone to castigate you or express earnest lack of appreciation for an item of your work you were particularly proud of. I call it the anti-pep-rally and it works. Sometimes it helps for you to persuade yourself that you're a failure and that you haven't met your own standards, let alone raised over other people's. In fact you're falling behind. Your girlfriend thinks you're pathetic. The kids in the neighborhood talk about you behind your back. Now that you look back, you haven't finished a single worthwhile piece in years, and those really good pieces from a few years back don't seem as good as they did last time you looked. You're slipping... but were you ever on the top to begin with?

Man, I remember that game, loved it vey much indeed! I even have the sequel here somewhere it had really amazing graphics comparatively speaking but I never got into it... I remember memorizing the layout of Washington DC from the game and then moving to the city and being shocked at how wrong they got everything...

Like an ALBATROS!

What is it with you and body positions language?

Gotta remember also that Good and Evil was merely a working title...

It is a piece of concept art I saved on a backup disk some four or five years ago from a Ron Gilbert Cavedog game that never was, Good and Evil.

Die™!

Fuck you, donkey!

I would just like to append this thought: it's not old Rissian authors, it's dead Russian authors. Dear developers, one more thing to consider; realism is fatal.