Please find below the correct opinions on all five Jurassic Park movies:
Jurassic Park - stone-cold classic
Jurassic Park 2 - a few cool moments but mainly misjudged and messy.
Jurassic Park 3 - if you accept that it's a much cheesier affair, this is actually very fun. Some great sequences and likeable characters.
Jurassic World - frustratingly dull and clumsy, from the direction through the script and score even down to the shitty new Amblin ident.
Jurassic World 2 - [just saw this today so this is a bit lengthier] Not half as amateurish as the first JW, and it even has one legit great extended sequence (
), but once that is over, it moves to a big mansion for the rest of the movie and goes through all the same tired old beats over and over -
. The very ending was pretty sweet, though, even if it was pure sequel set-up.
And now, because I can never hear the main theme without these stupid lyrics now, I will ruin it for all of you also: