The completely fake IF thread

[loonyboi]

Splintering off from the zork test thread, I present the Completely Fake IF Game Thread.

The game will begin with the next post. Everyone either do a "move" or write a response and let's see how weird we can get.

[loonyboi]

IDLE THUMBS: THE GAME

Copyright © 2005 Idle Posters, Inc. All rights reserved.

IDLE THUMBS is © 2004-2005 Idle Thumbs!!

Revision 66j / Serial number 187612

Lobby

You are standing in a rather drab and boring room, containing an out of date computer sitting on an equally drab desk. And yourself, of course.

There is a computer here.

>

[ysbreker]

look at computer

[Erkki]

You see a blank desktop. There is nothing else on it than a red button. "Jiba jiba, got that jiba" you hear coming from the speakers.

[OftenK]

use red button

[Intrepid Homoludens]

You hear some whirring sounds, then a previously hidden keyboard panel slides out. A 3D image of Yufster and wormsie facing each other, beautifully rendered by the Source engine, suddenly lights up the large screen, each model with its own health bar. It's more than obvious that this 'game' is inviting you to do something, but the characters on the keyboard are illegible to you.

[Wormsie]

# fook yoo träp

[Intrepid Homoludens]

I don't know the word 'fook yoo träp'.

[loonyboi]

push keyboard

[Intrepid Homoludens]

In your attempt to move the keyboard you accidentally hit a key. The 3D Yufster begins saying: "Blah blah blah blah blah....Tim Schafer......blah blah blah blah blah blahdiddy blahdiddy blah blah!" The 3D wormsie reacts by rolling his eyes.

[lailoken]

look at room

[loonyboi]

You are standing in a rather drab and boring room, containing an out of date computer sitting on an equally drab desk. And yourself, of course.

There is a door behind you leading out into a dark corridor.

There is a computer here.

[ysbreker]

inventory

[Nick]

Drink Absinth

[lailoken]

Open door

[Intrepid Homoludens]

ysbreaker > inventory

You look inside your fabulously expensive Gucci black leather backpack and find:

A packed gourmet lunch from Dean & Deluca

A naked picture of George W. Bush

An Xbox copy of Psychonauts

A six page typewritten essay by Kingz comparing Dadaist art to Futurist art in the context of pre-World War I European culture (it received a grade of A)

A sterling silver stylus from Tiffany's

A small bottle of blue hair dye

A nasty knife

----

There is no absinth here.

The door seems to be locked.

[lailoken]

throw monitor against door

[Intrepid Homoludens]

The monitor is bolted down to the desk and cannot be moved.

Meanwhile the two 3D Yufster and wormsie models begin staring at you, as if waiting for you to interact with them.

>

[lailoken]

cut wall with nasty knife

[loonyboi]

> cut wall with nasty knife

That wouldn't be very productive, now would it?

[lailoken]

#ah, so it's not THAT nasty after all, is it? but what is productive anyway?

[lailoken]

use psychokinetic powers to unlock door

[loonyboi]

> use psychokinetic powers to unlock door

you aren't holding the psychokinetic powers

[Salka]

> remain uninvolved in thread

[Intrepid Homoludens]

> remain uninvolved in thread

I don't know the word 'uninvolved in thread'.

Meanwhile the two 3D Yufster and wormsie models begin staring at you, as if waiting for you to interact with them.

>