Suspect Advice from Suspect Characters

[Nick]

I just mean, let's be honest. If you're ugly, you probably want to think twice before leaving him because you won't get another boyfriend. Similarly, if he's ugly, he'll be pretty much desperate to keep you. Unless you're ugly. If neither of you are ugly, it's probably best you go your separate ways.

Also, people tend to feel sorrier for you if you're pretty and sad, rather than ugly and blubbering.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!

[Knar]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!

Oh shut up.

[Nick]

Oh shut up.

Awww c'mon, it's funny when people are blunt.

[Dingo Chavez]

My brother is a World of Warcraft addict ever since it was released. It's like heroin, a cheaper more time consuming type of heroin.

For hours he'll go on and on about his new sword, or the dragon that he just killed (he also killed that nice big blue one that looks friendly and quiet, why oh brother of mine? Why?), he'll play it for countless hours and make up excuses to avoid work (which makes me need to go instead of him). I pocked him with the finest broom sticks in my vacinity, I mock him constantly, I confess my raging hate for WoW just because of his addiction (he wants me to start playing it too so I could join his army and beat that big evil fire god thing that suppose to be the strongest boss in the game until Blizzard decides to add a newer stronger boss) still nothing, not even a response is given. If he would play for a few hours each day I'd be fine with it, but for an entire day nearly every day - that's lunacy.

There's no escaping it, once they're on the WoW sauce there's no way back... well until they get sick of it anyway... which has yet to happen...

Join me! We shall fight the WoW addiction and bring peace to the shire.

EDIT: Apparently there was another thread about this that would have been more apt for this post. I really need to start checking all of the threads before posting.

[Knar]

Awww c'mon, it's funny when people are blunt.

But this is not the time nor the place of it. There are situations when people are clouded by their own problems and so they go to others to clarify it for them. They reach for help - not to be shot down and be judged by something as arbitrary as looks.

I don't think you would be too happy if you went up to someone for advice and their answer is, "bla bla bla, it doesn't matter, you're fugly. Life sucks for fugly people."

[Trithemius]

Pictures are necessary to help us get in touch with the situation using visual stimuli.

... ¬¬

No, that sounds like I want to touch myself while looking at your picture. I just mean, let's be honest. If you're ugly, you probably want to think twice before leaving him because you won't get another boyfriend. Similarly, if he's ugly, he'll be pretty much desperate to keep you. Unless you're ugly. If neither of you are ugly, it's probably best you go your separate ways.

Also, people tend to feel sorrier for you if you're pretty and sad, rather than ugly and blubbering.

Thumbs for pr0n? o_O

[Trithemius]

wow, this is getting rather amusing.

Why has the dopefish been downsized?

The relatively unstable economy has meant everyone has had to downsize, even dopefish. ;_;

[Intrepid Homoludens]

WTF is going on here?

[netmonkey]

I want to see naked pictures of _______________.

Also, this is what happens when office romances are involved... threads are spun off from other thread, or something.

(this post makes sense by a factor of 50%)

[pupsti]

look at my picture (my avatar)! it's from 1987 and i'm sexy as hell.

[Savage Cabbage]

Damn, in '87 I was dating chicks and doing cherrypickers on my BMX for their affection! I was a stud. I had a six pack! Now I cant walk to my local sweetshop. What the hell happened? Oh, you cruel world.

[pupsti]

what the hell is a cherrypicker?

[Savage Cabbage]

Now I REALLY feel old. Did you not see Nicole Kidman in RAD?

[Nick]

But this is not the time nor the place of it. There are situations when people are clouded by their own problems and so they go to others to clarify it for them. They reach for help - not to be shot down and be judged by something as arbitrary as looks.

I don't think you would be too happy if you went up to someone for advice and their answer is, "bla bla bla, it doesn't matter, you're fugly. Life sucks for fugly people."

I didn't say it!

[General Fuzzy McBitty]

You're not supposed to scare the crap out of new people.

[Nick]

I knew I was going wrong somewhere.

[Spaff]

Look.

There's a fat ugly woman on a park bench, blubbering loudly. As she sobs, her skin makes waves like a vast ocean of tar, melting under a hot texan sun.

Beside her, there's a pretty, delicate girl, weeping into her soft hands as she sits alone. Cascades of rich, dark curls fall on her elegant shoulders.

You can't tell me you'd rather console the fat ugly woman first. Imagine your arms getting crushed between fold mountains of fat as you attempt to put your arms around her. Imagine the decades of sweat and grime that have accumulated between those foul fatty flaps, those rancid pits of oil and grease that are consuming you, absorbing you into her, feeding her.

Now imagine that sweet-smelling, pretty girl as she nestles her face against your neck, her lips pressed softly against your skin as her hands urgently, insistently search your body for an answer to her problem.

Whatever that may be.

-Yufster

[Ben]

I'd give each one a shoulder, but the fat ugly girl would be on my eye-patch side. Also I'd take the pretty one home and put her in my cage.

[Spaff]

I'd give neither one any comfort. I'd feel threatened by the prettier girl, and disgusted and repelled by the fat one.

- Yufster

[nsps]

Thing is, if you're in a bad relationship, it's not worth sticking around because you don't think you'll find someone else, no matter whether or not you're perceived as fat and/or ugly. Sure, this relationship might not be horrible—we don't know all the details—but where do you draw the line of "Never leave him because you're not good enough for another man"? When he starts beating her? And what about ugly men, aren't they a possibility?

[Intrepid Homoludens]

And what about ugly men, aren't they a possibility?

Not for me.

[Dingo Chavez]

Look.

There's a fat ugly woman on a park bench, blubbering loudly. As she sobs, her skin makes waves like a vast ocean of tar, melting under a hot texan sun.

Beside her, there's a pretty, delicate girl, weeping into her soft hands as she sits alone. Cascades of rich, dark curls fall on her elegant shoulders.

-Yufster

I'd comfort the over-weight (how opinionated in a way that is different from me am I?) one. The pretty gentle girl will notice how kind and not shallow I am, and would find me irresistible because she's sweet and kind and likes that type of thing.

Once I'll win the lovely girl's heart, I'll say a good friendly goodbye to the over-weight (because I'm opinionated in a way that is different from me) one. She'll feel better, and I'll win the pretty girl who's sweet and gentle as a cool winter breeze.

Everybody wins, and the world is a better place.

[Moosferatu]

wow, sounds like you've done this before.

[baconian]

Look.

There's a fat ugly woman on a park bench, blubbering loudly. As she sobs, her skin makes waves like a vast ocean of tar, melting under a hot texan sun.

Beside her, there's a pretty, delicate girl, weeping into her soft hands as she sits alone. Cascades of rich, dark curls fall on her elegant shoulders.

You can't tell me you'd rather console the fat ugly woman first. Imagine your arms getting crushed between fold mountains of fat as you attempt to put your arms around her. Imagine the decades of sweat and grime that have accumulated between those foul fatty flaps, those rancid pits of oil and grease that are consuming you, absorbing you into her, feeding her.

Now imagine that sweet-smelling, pretty girl as she nestles her face against your neck, her lips pressed softly against your skin as her hands urgently, insistently search your body for an answer to her problem.

Whatever that may be.

-Yufster

holy crap. I have to go to the bathroom now.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Wipe yourself with a towel afterwards, k?