I_smell Posted November 2, 2012 On 11/1/2012 at 8:36 PM, Noyb said: "[343 Studios] launches the best kind of protest, which is to wave an impressive, throbbing shooter in your face. Trust me, you want this." -- IGN.com The leap in logic you have to make to arrive at this sentence is fucking absurd. There's no way "343 did a really good job" just NATURALLY falls out as "The best kind of protest is waving a big hard dick in someone's face." Having decided that this sentence could only have been planned to be about erect dicks from the beginning, my only question is "why?". It's clearly not the most apt descriptor, and there's not a single thread of relevance to class it as a joke, so WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS THIS MAN'S CRYPTIC MOTIVE? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roderick Posted November 2, 2012 Oh man, every time I think we're being a little harsh on IGN-- I truly believe the box quote for Halo 4 should be "Impressive, throbbing." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
syntheticgerbil Posted November 2, 2012 On 11/2/2012 at 10:18 AM, I_smell said: The leap in logic you have to make to arrive at this sentence is fucking absurd. There's no way "343 did a really good job" just NATURALLY falls out as "The best kind of protest is waving a big hard dick in someone's face." Only the best protests have strange vulgar bro nudity. How would we have done the Boston Tea Party and Vietnam War marches without such methods? I mean tea bagging is apparently the next big thing already. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
miffy495 Posted November 3, 2012 On 11/2/2012 at 10:30 AM, Rodi said: Oh man, every time I think we're being a little harsh on IGN-- I truly believe the box quote for Halo 4 should be "Impressive, throbbing." To be fair, that quote was from Joystiq. It was only attributed to IGN for comedic effect. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Noyb Posted November 5, 2012 Found this while cleaning up. Swear it's not photoshopped. Goldblum Auto 3 will blow you away. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sno Posted November 6, 2012 Also: Tekken 4 is pretty widely regarded as the worst game in that series. Old gaming mags are funny. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nappi Posted November 9, 2012 "Like Skyrim With Guns" -IGN.com Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juv3nal Posted December 3, 2012 So I just came across this ancient gem: Quote "There's a tendency among the press to attribute the creation of a game to a single person," says Warren Spector, creator of Thief and Deus Ex. source (via Old Man Murray) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sno Posted December 3, 2012 If we're digging into the past, one of my all-time-favorite horrible IGN quotes is this nugget splayed out across the otherwise beautiful box art for Ikaruga. I was so angry when i saw that box art for the first time, i couldn't believe it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roderick Posted December 3, 2012 Ahahaha, that's amazing! It's not even a cliche, it's just completely nuts! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sno Posted December 4, 2012 On 12/3/2012 at 7:29 PM, Sno said: If we're digging into the past, one of my all-time-favorite horrible IGN quotes is this nugget splayed out across the otherwise beautiful box art for Ikaruga. I was so angry when i saw that box art for the first time, i couldn't believe it. On 12/3/2012 at 8:23 PM, Rodi said: Ahahaha, that's amazing! It's not even a cliche, it's just completely nuts! I love that "frothing demand" and "increases" are in bold. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
miffy495 Posted December 4, 2012 Still own that box. I love that it comes up about every 10 pages during this thread, as enough time passes that people forget and then rediscover it. Not even trying to be a "old news hur hur" guy here, I actually love that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sno Posted December 4, 2012 The second i posted it, i had this moment of realization that i may have even already posted it once before on this thread. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JonCole Posted December 4, 2012 On 11/9/2012 at 6:52 PM, Nappi said: "Like Skyrim With Guns" -IGN.com Also, isn't that just... Fallout? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elmuerte Posted December 4, 2012 Fallout with dragons? awesome Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nachimir Posted December 4, 2012 I think this thread has come full circle. Maybe we'll get another flurry of excellent fake box quotes Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Armchair General Posted December 5, 2012 'my jaw literally hit the floor and went through it' Rodi.com Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juv3nal Posted December 5, 2012 On 12/4/2012 at 3:58 PM, JonCole said: Also, isn't that just... Fallout? No, silly, keep track: fallout 3 is oblivion with guns. TOTALLY DIFFERENT. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JonCole Posted December 6, 2012 On 12/5/2012 at 6:58 PM, juv3nal said: No, silly, keep track: fallout 3 is oblivion with guns. TOTALLY DIFFERENT. Fallout 3 is Oblivion with guns. Skyrim is Fallout 3 without guns. Far Cry 3 is Skyrim with guns. THE ELDER SCROLLS V IS FAR CRY 3 WITHOUT GUNS. THE ELDER SCROLLS V: IGN REVELATIONS Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Username Posted December 6, 2012 Honestly I really don't understand all the hate for IGN. People act as if it is some discrete entity, when of course like every other site it is a collection of editors. Some are bad, some are ok, and some are good. Regardless of your opinion, I just don't get the point of shitting on them constantly, it doesn't further anything. Ignore them when they write things you don't like, hold them accountable when they make mistakes, and applaud them when they do go. Demonizing them as a whole though, doesn't get us anywhere. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
I_smell Posted December 6, 2012 This thread is about dumb quotes from EVERY website, it just always circles back around to IGN because the original joke was IGN.com and they're the best/worst at it. This thread could just as easily be about Gametrailers.com. It's not about the site, it's just about dumb quotes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Username Posted December 6, 2012 That I can get behind. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Username Posted December 6, 2012 "I had an outstanding time with Syndicate" - Jeff Gerstmann Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TychoCelchuuu Posted December 6, 2012 Specifically the joke started and continued through many episodes of Idle Thumbs. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
