Life

[Nachimir]

It was given four out of five cosmic vibrations by the Woo Woo Institute.

--

Today has been the first Monday for weeks I've not had a mashed up face. It's nice

I've also finally got to the end of a grueling sequence of events in London and Nottingham. October is usually quite busy, but the last few months in particular have consisted of one thing after another. GameCity was the peak, and now it's done I can go back to not skipping sleep. Phew.

The laser assault course ran well, though there were hardware and software bugs we'll be ironing out for future versions. It looked even better than we thought it would, with some of the lasers really bright and visible from all over the room.

[ThunderPeel2001]

Hmm. I do believe that actual science has confirmed that 8 hours is the recommended amount... but I haven't looked anything up that backs my claim. Really you should be waking up naturally... but that never seems to happen.

Also, I think if you sleep under a pyramid you don't age.

(I may have made that last bit up.)

[Nappi]

Hmm. I do believe that actual science has confirmed that 8 hours is the recommended amount... but I haven't looked anything up that backs my claim. Really you should be waking up naturally... but that never seems to happen.

This wasn't the article I was referring to, but at least it is in English:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/6546209.stm

[miffy495]

I think that the standard recommendation is 6-8 hours, depending on the person. If you need less or more, that's fine too. I happen to wake up naturally after about 6 and a half, while my girlfriend needs 9 or she's dead on her feet all day. Basically, sleep however much you feel like you need, and if your body starts hating you for sleeping that amount, adjust from there.

[Sleepdance]

Now when I think abou it, about a quater of my 'sleeping' is staring at the cealling while trying to make my body to sleep. But the weird thin is that next morning I feel like I was sleeping and while I'm awake I act like I'sleeping

[syntheticgerbil]

I wish I could figure out the key to 5-6 hours of sleep like some of you. If I set an alarm I still struggle with waking up and snooze almost non-stop.

My body likes laying in one place for 10 hours if left undisturbed almost every time. This is even if I've been getting enough sleep lately. It would be nice if it were something I could control. I think I had read your need for sleep decreases with age either way, so maybe I'm just not old enough yet?

My dad gets about five to six hours of sleep every night, but he's over sixty now. He's also the lightest fucking sleeper and would yell at me or anyone else in the family constantly for making too much noise the decades I was living there. I don't think I ever sleep that light. Even in the most uncomfortable of positions, I tend to really conk out.

Give me your sleep secrets!!!

[DanJW]

Exercise is the biggy when it comes to getting good sleep.

I think 7 hours is about right for me. Like others my body asks for more but if I listen to it then I turn to lead or something and can't do anything the whole day. If I make the effort then after a moment of displeasure I feel much better. Although I think I've got a bit of S.A.D. right now because I've been reeaaally tired and sleeping lots (breaking up with the girlfriend didn't help, so I put it down to necessary emotional healing time).

Mind you I'm a natural night owl. It's genetic apparently, whether you are more alert in the morning or the evening. Age plays a lesser role too.

[miffy495]

After about 2 months of completely fruitless apartment hunting, my cup suddenly runneth over. I have 3 viewings booked for tomorrow, with some others backed up if I need to check. So far I've been seeing mostly crap, but sooner or later I feel like something will have to work out. Back to the ol' grind. At least I have internet at work.

[Lu]

I r in the US, stealing ur women.

So yes, some delays and a missed connection because of it, but otherwise okay. I had to go through customs where the guy asked me where I was going and why. So I said vacation in Kentucky, to which he raised his eyebrows and went " Really? Why??" Completely caught me off guard and made me stumble like an idiot, but in retrospect it was funny.

Visiting friends here in Lexington. Moving up to St. Louis next week to spend time with other friends too. Haven't seen them in a year, so should be fun!

[Nachimir]

It's been a harrowing weekend. Some of it self inflicted.

On Friday I went to a party and it turned into an impromptu counseling session for someone very troubled and self-harming. She seemed relieved to find someone who understood it wasn't just attention seeking, and I was relieved to find that she's getting professional help. The details of the awful situation that brought her to this were really distressing, and made me angry at the people who've victimised her. If people need it, I can be a good listener, but I've never had it be so emotionally draining.

(A female friend jokingly said to me: "What? You didn't even snog her at the end of all that? You could have proper taken advantage of her you fool").

Today, I did a thing called hellrunner. It's basically a little shorter than a half marathon, but with very steep hills to scramble up and down, stream crossings, and bogs. The last is a long, long waist deep section with some chest deep patches. When I say bogs, I don't mean poxy little patches of mud; they were exactly like the kind of wooded bogs in 80s fantasy films or the empire strikes back.

I was with a friend who realised at the first bog that she'd bitten off more than she could chew, and had to stay with her to make sure she was ok. The going was slow and as a result got very cold, but we did it. We were among the last over the line, but I feel happier at that time than I would at being in the top 10.

I expected to get really fucked at a party, sleep Saturday then run a race alone rather than help people, but all in all, I think this was probably a better weekend than I planned.

[ThunderPeel2001]

(A female friend jokingly said to me: "What? You didn't even snog her at the end of all that? You could have proper taken advantage of her you fool").

Yuck

[Nachimir]

Ah. There's loads of context missing for that. She has a brutal sense of humour, but would never mean it.

[Kolzig]

Saw Hamburg and I really want to go back there someday as a tourist and not on a work related mission. I only saw conference rooms, the hotel room and the view of Hamburg from inside a taxi. A really nice city and all of Germany seemed very friendly and warmly welcoming. Co-workers were joking a lot that we should've gone to check Reeperbahn and Herbertstrasse, which we did not actually do.

Flight was pretty much horrible Vaasa-Helsinki-Copenhagen-Hamburg and back Hamburg-Copenhagen-Stockholm-Vaasa. These were all done with tight spaced small airplanes...

Came back during friday-saturday night just in time for my birthday. Birthday was actually pretty regular stuff, no partying. I just stayed at home and played some Mario with my wife and got two nice movie books from her as present.

[Armchair General]

OK OK OK That's IT Kolzig. I am officially VERY jealous of your travelling life. I shall accept no more!

Also, Nachimir.....perhaps if journalism isn't your bag in the end, you should join me in doctoring. Sounds like you would be good at it. (The listening, not the bogsurfing)

Also, Also, come back to me soon PiratePoo, Papa misses you!

[Nachimir]

I used to listen to other kids problems at primary school. Friday night underlined to me that occasionally doing it for friends is ok, but hearing a story that harrowing and fucked up really affected me for a while, to the point that running through bogs felt like the right thing to do. I don't think I could hack being a counsellor.

Photo. I hadn't just pushed her, honest.

That was the man made bit, complete with hidden shin height log to trip us over. Photographers didn't go anywhere near the natural bogs made of mud, but they were like rice pudding and deeper.

[Orv]

I used to listen to other kids problems at primary school. Friday night underlined to me that occasionally doing it for friends is ok, but hearing a story that harrowing and fucked up really affected me for a while, to the point that running through bogs felt like the right thing to do. I don't think I could hack being a counsellor.

Doing that sort of thing puts things in perspective very quickly, and can leave you feeling like utter shit, even if none of it immediately effects you. It's a shitty thing to go through (thought not nearly as bad as it is for the person you're listening to) but it's generally helpful to everyone involved.

I just hate people in general, so I avoid that sort of thing unless I know you really well or have a reason to like you off-hand.

(You hear that Patters? When boardgaming drives you mad, don't come crying to me!)

[DanJW]

Photo. I hadn't just pushed her, honest.

That was the man made bit, complete with hidden shin height log to trip us over. Photographers didn't go anywhere near the natural bogs made of mud, but they were like rice pudding and deeper.

That is fantastic.

[Garple]

come back to me soon PiratePoo, Papa misses you!

This is one of those sentences that would be especially wonderful if read out of context.

Also: I've always wanted a girlfriend...probably more than anything, but I don't know how that situation happens...do you guys have any advice? I've been working out...it seems women are noticing me a bit more...

[miffy495]

I went to an accquaintance's birthday party and ended up in a 3+ year relationship with her best friend. Shit seems to just happen. I don't think anyone can give real advice on the matter. Anyone who tells you otherwise has something to sell. All you can really do is put yourself out there and always be willing to talk to people. Sooner or later, you and someone you just talked to because you could may hit it off.

[Garple]

I went to an accquaintance's birthday party and ended up in a 3+ year relationship with her best friend. Shit seems to just happen. I don't think anyone can give real advice on the matter. Anyone who tells you otherwise has something to sell. All you can really do is put yourself out there and always be willing to talk to people. Sooner or later, you and someone you just talked to because you could may hit it off.

Cool...I like this advice...and you seem pretty serious about your girlfriend (yes?). I try to talk to girls in a way that doesn't make a big deal about anything. It seems they can tell when a dude is just trying to talk them up and get laid (They're not stupid...lol). I'll talk to them about whatever the conversation leads to...whether it be philosophical pragmatism or free jazz (brainy girls are sexy as hell). Unfortunately, the closest I ever got to a girl was with one who already had a boyfriend she was already serious about. She was amazing in about 100 ways and I feel like I could have dated her if she wasn't already committed. So is not really trying to get a girlfriend the best approach? Do you guys feel like it's something that just happens? What if I already know a girl I really like...what should I do? I feel like these are pathetic questions for a 22 year old dude to be struggling with...but that's honestly where I am in life. Should I hang it up or is there hope for me?

[Lu]

I've been working out...it seems women are noticing me a bit more...

Either that or you just feel/appear more confident. I shouldn't be giving advice. I have a terrible, terrible track record when it comes to women.

[Garple]

Either that or you just feel/appear more confident.

So is that still a good thing? In other words...am I just deluded...or am I on the right track? I'm trying to have more respect for my body and my person...as a long-time depressive...it's pretty hard but I'm really honestly working at it...doesn't that make me a better person?

[Lu]

It's a good thing. Being confident about yourself and appearing confident are attractive qualities (to me at least!). Just as long as you are yourself and all that. Men and women... Besides the parts, they really aren't that different from one another. Don't be afraid to hint that you are interested. If they're not, you'll know (maybe). If they are, you'll know (maybe).

[Nachimir]

Don't hang it up. I was still struggling massively with the same thing at that age.

Miffy's advice is the best, and you're right, guys who are just trying to get in someone's pants tend to be really obvious. There's always the dark side of pickup artists, but that stuff is really squicky and you don't need to trick or manipulate people to connect with them.

Some bits of advice I'd like to add:

Attraction is a simple and easily provoked emotion that can lead to bigger feelings, but doesn't necessarily. If you're inexperienced with it, it can lead to either getting hung up on one person who isn't interested, or getting so tense when you're in a potentially romantic situation that you destroy any chance of it.

It's impossible to do all of this perfectly. Leave your failures behind you. Learn from them but don't let them define you. Confidence will not come overnight, it will build very slowly over time. Don't let any failures or disasters destroy you. People may suddenly go off you, you'll discover major differences in values, and so on. It happens no matter how well you think you're doing.

If you're not meeting enough women, meet more people. It can be hard to find members of the opposite sex when you specifically have romantic/sexual intent, but meeting more people opens opportunities, and you can end up with an a very good social life too. Also, try new stuff. Classes, groups, etc., can be great ways to meet new people, especially with similar interests, and you can visit them for just a session or two if they're not right.

Related to that, encountering people romantically uses all of the same social skills as the rest of your social life. Granted, it has differences and there are extra bits of interpretation, but all of your social skills are useful. There's a lot you can do outside of dating to become better at talking to women.

Oh, also: Women have filthy thoughts too. Often overlooked.

If you're careful enough when weighing people up, then by the time you get into an intimate situation with anyone, any insecurities you might have over yourself or your body will probably be irrelevant.

Try to smile more. Not a fake one, just approach people with a welcoming attitude. So, so so many interactions between people fuck up or never happen because people make eye contact without smiling.

[Garple]

It's a good thing. Being confident about yourself and appearing confident are attractive qualities (to me at least!). Just as long as you are yourself and all that. Men and women... Besides the parts, they really aren't that different from one another. Don't be afraid to hint that you are interested. If they're not, you'll know (maybe). If they are, you'll know (maybe).

This might be a stupid question...but how should I hint? I know it should be specific to the girl/situation...but is there any general advice you can share?