Which Video Game Boss would make the best Actual Boss?

[Berzee]

(this question was indirectly inspired by listening to one of the old twitch.tv streams in which Mr. Boost mentions the "Final Bass" and the "Bass Battle")

 

This question has probably been asked before, it surely being on all of our minds and in all of our hearts. But I didn't notice it in the search results so I ask you,

 

If you could choose one Video Games Boss (any kind, mini-, level-, final-, etc...) to be your new boss at your current job (if you're unemployed, I guess that means you'd be in an Oliver Twist scenario), whoms would you choose?

 

I gave it a lot of serious pondering today and eventually settled on either one of The Turks from FF7 (because they are true professionals! but also know how to appreciate life) or Gargarensis from Age of Mythology (because he quotes G.K. Chesterton all the time for no reason, which I am sure I would enjoy). It would be tough working under people who were Evil By Designation, but I think these particular choices would make the transition as smooth as possible.

 

By the by, I think it's fair to expect spoilers to show up in here (of the "*gasp* HE was the final boss?!" variety) so be cautious and conscientious.

 

[incidentally, Knight of the Old Republic 2 spoiler]

I almost said Darth Traya would be good because she's super cool, but then I realized she would criticize me *no matter what I do*, just for the principle of the thing. So now I have second thoughts.

[Patrick R]

If the tree from Kirby's Dreamland was my boss, I imagine I could get away with a lot of goofing off, on account of him not being able to move his head in any way.

[feelthedarkness]

That brain in a tank from Revenge of Shinobi: leaves me alone except for the rare occasion when it pokes noodle in.

[Berzee]

I sense that neither of you seeks a strong motivational personality to help you attain your full potential. =P

 

It occurs to me (for some reason, after thinking about the Dreamland tree) that my workplace would be much more majestic if my project manager was one of the Colossi from Shadow of the Colossus, and we could all climb up on its shoulder / belt / knee to have a meeting.

 

Be doubly good if I was a police officer, but alas, I am not =(

[Laxan]

Tangent here, but the whole idea of calling the hardest enemy "The Boss" is really strange when you think about it. I tried to look up the etymology of this usage, and this metafilter thread points out an edition of Joystik Magazine as (one of) the first times it was used in this way. Any thumbs know anything else about it?

 

Also, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boss_%28video_gaming%29 is a quality page.

 

Edit: Apparently the hardest enemy in Galaga was actually called "Boss Galaga", so this may have been the birth of the phrase.

[Berzee]

  On 3/6/2013 at 7:48 PM, Laxan said:

Tangent here, but the whole idea of calling the hardest enemy "The Boss" is really strange when you think about it.

 

Haha, I know. That's why my question amuses me so much, because it suggests that if say "I wanna speak to your boss!" at a restaurant or somesuch place, the waiter might come back with a thrice-as-tall pallette-swapped version of himself.

 

Good etymological sleuthing, thanks. Like the wikipedia article. "Specific boss types: Miniboss. Superboss. Final boss."

 

If I ever start a company, instead of CEO and Director, we will have Final Boss and Miniboss.

[Salacious Snake]

Based on Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker, I think Big Boss is the man for the job. He may be kind of an idiot when it comes to common sense things like what you should or should not put in your mouth, but he's great at finding the right tasks for the right people and managing both short and long term projects, from making cardboard boxes and keeping the kitchen running efficiently to assembling a bipedal tank with nuclear armament.

 

He's also highly persuasive and able to convince even difficult individuals to work for the common cause at their full potential. 

 

Based on the earliest games, he has a knack for giving the disillusioned a new sense of purpose, and has a soft spot for refugees. He's not afraid to get down to the nitty gritty and provide hands-on learning experiences to his newest recruits, nor to delegate larger tasks to those who show potential.

 

[Berzee]

^ Incidentally, anyone applying for a management position would do well to convert that to a first-person description and put it in their cover letter.

[Laxan]

  On 3/6/2013 at 8:15 PM, Berzee said:

Haha, I know. That's why my question amuses me so much, because it suggests that if say "I wanna speak to your boss!" at a restaurant or somesuch place, the waiter might come back with a thrice-as-tall pallette-swapped version of himself.

 

I also read a theory that he's called The Boss because you fight henchmen all game until you find the guy giving them their orders. He is literally just some boss.

[Luftmensch]

I think Meta Knight. He basically only exists to challenge you to do better. Plus, of I worked for him, I'd probably work on the Battleship Halberd, which is rad.

[JonCole]

Mewtwo would be a cool boss. I bet he'd be all over jeans Friday.

[Patrick R]

I somehow never remembered this, but reading that Metafilter thread reminded me that I used to say "guardian" instead of "boss". In fact, I used to roll my eyes at kids who called them "bosses", like they were dumb or something. The final boss was referred to as "the guardian of the game" and mini-bosses were "guards". Which makes even less sense than "boss", really. I think I picked it up from my friend down the street, as I never had gaming systems of my own until later. I wonder if this was a southern thing (I lived in Houston, Texas at the time). 

[miffy495]

You must have been really excited when they announced The Last Guardian.

[Patrick R]

Yeah, but I was pissed when this movie wasn't about King Dedede.

 

In other news, I just learned that the name of the final boss in Kirby isn't spelled "Deedee".

 

 

EDITED TO ADD:

 

"Due to an ambiguous description of the geography of Pop Star, it is never made entirely clear how much of the planet King Dedede assumes leadership of, though he seems to have castles and fortresses all across the planet. Even so, he seems to perform no administrative functions, and for the most part, the planet seems to ignore any edicts that are issued by him."

[syntheticgerbil]

I'd be the boss from Braid since it would mean the boss is me. Or the boss is a small redhead child with a suit. Either that or it's the atomic bomb somehow.

[Afterward]

I think GLaDOS bears mentioning here because she's a boss in both senses of the term! But I really really would not want to work for her.

[lumberbaron]

Oh! Does Cave Johnson count as a boss?  If he does that is totally what I am going with.  That guy seems both crazy, fun, willing to take chances, and probably would openly reward you for being awesome at things. 

[I_smell]

"Guardian of the game" is a way more badass name than "Boss", and is also probably the name of a good 80's sci-fi thriller.

 

I would want the giant three-headed hydra from God of War because I dunno guys, I'm jes screwin around! Can you imagine it, hohoho!

 

  On 3/6/2013 at 11:23 PM, JonCole said:

Mewtwo would be a cool boss. I bet he'd be all over jeans Friday.

 

Mewtwo would hate jeans Friday.

[elmuerte]

I've been thinking about this for quite some time, and my answer is: none of them.

Seriously, every employee of Video game bosses is horribly killed, or worse, by the player.

[Berzee]

  On 3/7/2013 at 10:28 PM, elmuerte said:

I've been thinking about this for quite some time, and my answer is: none of them.

Seriously, every employee of Video game bosses is horribly killed, or worse, by the player.

 

This is basically true,

but if you work really hard (and really fast) you might be lucky enough to get promoted to Disc 1 Boss before the player reaches you. Then you would have a chance of being *redeemed* by the hero and becoming that party member who is way cooler than any of the reliably-good guys.

[lumberbaron]

  On 3/8/2013 at 7:25 PM, Berzee said:

This is basically true,

but if you work really hard (and really fast) you might be lucky enough to get promoted to Disc 1 Boss before the player reaches you. Then you would have a chance of being *redeemed* by the hero and becoming that party member who is way cooler than any of the reliably-good guys.

 

Yeah, but who wants to work either hard or fast when you know that in the long run you are probably just going to be the guy from Metal Gear 1 that just kept peeing in the urinal?  Hard work only counts if you aren't going to have some deadly spy sneak under you and plant C4.

[SecretAsianMan]

Dr. Wily from Megaman because then I'D BE A ROBOT (MASTER)!

[chummer]

I'll second Cave Johnson. I feel the chances of getting killed would be equal to that of gaining some form of immortality while working for him.

 

Also, this thread's question led me to ask 'Which lord management lord would you like to be lorded over?' because I'm a doof.

[AngelikMayhem]

Don Flamenco from Punch Out!!!  Something tells me this guy is pretty popular with the ladies, so I'd cash that check.